62. I had the opportunity to see 62 Movies/TV shows in a theater in 2016. Out of the 62, I’ve actually seen 38. The remaining were given to friends, associates and a few randoms.
Part 1 of short reviews:
Sausage Party ***- Seth Rogen heads up as a Sausage on a quest to go to the great beyond. Throw in a love interest, some pot smoking, and bath salts. I cracked up, sang along w/a few montages, and may actually consider buying it in the near future.
Cons: Not made for children, yet there were children there. (more of an issue w/parents but needs to be said regardless.) TOo DAMN LONG. Seriously, about 25 min could’ve been shaved off.
Pros: Genuinely funny. Not forced.
Suicide Squad ** 1/2: All Star Cast/Ensemble piece. Rag Team of “Villains” recruited (blackmailed) into “Saving the World”. I was super excited to this movie.
Pros: Margot Robbie owns it. Crazy, believable, and some actual vulnerability. Viola Davis, also owns the role.
Cons: Cara Delevingne Performance as the Enchantress. Ridiculous amount of movement that is akin to the Floaty figures that hangs outside of Car Dealerships. I dreaded each and everytime she shows up on screen as either of her characters.
Too many Characters. We get it, the flashbacks are there to see why/how these characters end up in Prison. Issue, the time. As a viewer I want to know, but not at the sacrifice of losing the story/plot. In the case of Killer Croc and Capt Boomerang the characters completely LOST. AS in I forgot they were even there.
Dont Breathe ****- Worthwhile. Side story: A middle aged white guy in a black trench carrying a backpack was pacing in the lobby area while waiting to see this movie. Obviously everyone is on edge. Not going to pretend, yeah, I racially profiled dude. I calmed down, and the rest of the audience calmed down. Once a very nice woman, handed him a taco. That’s right saved by tacos. CRISIS AVERTED.
Couple of kids (young adults) in Detroit break into the house of a blind man to get some loot to runaway from….Detroit.
Pros: Stephen Lang. The guy has a resume as tall as I am, and has been making movies since before I was a pain in my parents ass. You might remember him from Tombstone, or Avatar. Solid performance. Truly it is him that really makes the movie.
Cons: None really.
Florence Foster Jenkins ** - Meh. The Biopic of a Socialite that enjoys singing, but no one else enjoys listening to her sing and magically gets to perform in Carnegie Hall.
From a technical standpoint, Meryl hits it on the head. She hits every wrong note the way it was supposed to. THe character was majorly flawed, yet endearing. Hugh Grant is his normal Charming self, but there was some underlying depth there that I have not seen for quite sometime, if at all.
Pros: Entertaining, you will guffaw at times. While the story itself is outlandish (yet true) it is warming. Nina Arianda “Mrs. Stark” the highlight of the entire movie.
Cons: Having to listen to several minutes of singing off pitch, out of tune and wanting desperately to end it all by bursting my eardrums w/my neighbors straw.
Nerve ***- Introverted High School Girl joins in on Daring Social Media game for some quick cash, and a chance at adventure.
Not in High School, went to an all girl catholic school, and back in my day, Yahoo Chats and online forums were all the rage. It was hard to watch w/out being concerned about the Recklessness throughout the entire movie I was clutching my imaginary pearls.
Pro: Dave Franco in his skivvies. General fast paced danger of social media and effects.
Cons: Hearing the gasps at the activities coming from my own throat because apparently I’ve become someone’s imaginary mom.
Underuse of Juliette Lewis.
Only giving it 3 stars for the ok soundtrack, and Franco in his skivvies. I will always
Give a star for partial male nudity. :)
Fantastic Beasts and where to find them ****
Uber private screening where they take your phones, and personal information, and pictures before even entering the Theater. The Movie was not completed as far as CGI, have not seen the finished product. With that being said, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I hold a grudge against the Brits for both Harry Potter and James Bond because they are always released around birthday. This was not the case.
The Wizard Newt comes Stateside to fulfill a wish/promise. In his magical case, much like Hermiones bag are creatures under his care for one reason or another. Due to an escape of a few he has to extend his stay to find them in addition to fixing the havoc they have caused.
Pro: Dan Fogler ( chubby man crush).
A mating dance btw Oscar Winner Eddie Redmayne and a Beast.
The thieving little creature wreaking havoc.
Con: None
Ghostbusters ** ½
Revamped version of the 80's classic. Expected more, still fun to watch but there's a difference between Character and Caricature that needs to be fine tuned if they want to continue with it as a series. The story is familiar but in all honesty, they couldn't come
Pro: Seeing women kick ass.
Con: Kirsten Wigg honestly, there is something about that woman that irks me. Maybe that she has the same monotonous character in everything i’ve ever seen her in.
Chris Hemsworths Kevin- I took offense. Even with the shirt off, I was still offended that while he was there as eye candy, and as a vessel for evil. Did he really have to be that dumb? No, he didn't. It was insulting to my sense of humor or lack thereof.
Infiltrator ***
Decent based on true events about an operative determined to take down the Cartel by “chasing the money” and not the drugs. Worthwhile rent it.
Pro: Benjamin Bratt and John Leguizamo.
Con: Drags on and there are parts that are utterly ridiculous as far as suspension of belief.
The Shallows **
Surfing on a secret beach on your own, and virtually no one knows where you are. While i’m fully aware that this isnot supposed to be a great action movie sold as a drama. I walked in anyway prepared to roll eyes but still eat my contraband raisinets.
Surfer/med student goes off on her own and winds up being held hostage by an angry shark.
Pro: The Seagull.
Con: Losing about 45 min of life.
Neon Demon ***
Screening with both director and main actress.
80's B movie slick. An underage teen climbs her way in L.A as a model and catches the attention of some truly odd and unsavory industry types.
Pro: Keanu Reeves as the super slimy landlord that till this day makes me gag.
Con: The general WTF did I just watch?
I kind of want to watch it again to be sure that maybe one of my the people i went with didn't spike my drink w/acid. Neon Demon is not a straightforward film its a movie you want to simmer for a while on. While my initial reaction to it is that I don't like the way it was stylized. I get the general message that The Industry can and will eat you alive if not aware and careful.
Anyhoozle, I managed to snag a ticket to a screening almost two weeks ago at the Landmark Theater and was pleasantly greeted by two impersonators.
"Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" a thriller that pits sisters against each other in a house in California. If you haven't seen it, find it, and rent it. I have two copies myself, and you can ask to borrow one of mine.
